DO YOU BLEED FLUORESCENT GREEN?! DOES YOUR PISS HAVE A HALF-LIFE OF 2.5 BAJILLION YEARS? DID YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER GROW A TAIL AFTER MAKING OUT WITH YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME?! THAT'S GNAR BRAH!!! NUCLEAR GNAR!!!

LOOK GOOD, BIKE GOODR.
1 NO SLIP
WE USE A SPECIAL GRIP COATING AND TEMPLE GRIPS TO CONSTRUCT OUR FRAME TO HELP ELIMINATE SLIPPAGE WHEN YOUR LAVA-INDUCED SWEAT POPS WHILE VOLCANO SURFING.

2 NO BOUNCE
OUR FRAME IS FITTED AND LIGHTWEIGHT, WITH A REMOVABLE NOSE-PIECE AND TWO SIZING OPTIONS TO PREVENT BOUNCING WHEN YOU LAND ON YOUR MOTORCYCLE SEAT AFTER DIVING OUT OF A HELICOPTER.

3 ANTI-FOG
EXTREMELY EFFECTIVE ANTI-FOG COATING PREVENTS THE INSIDE OF THIS EXTREME WRAPAROUND LENS FROM FOGGING EVEN WITH THE EXTREMEST SWEAT.

4 ALL POLARIZED
GLARE-REDUCING, POLARIZED LENSES AND UV400 PROTECTION THAT BLOCKS THOSE HARMFUL UVA AND UVB RAYS.

5 ALL EXTREME
YOU MIGHT BE AN EXTREME ATHLETE, YOU MIGHT BE A PRETTY AVERAGE ATHLETE WHO IS EXTREMELY DELUSIONAL.